Before I start, I'd like to note that the new layout set up for Xanga is great. Very easy! :) I had forgotten how to do it originally, so I'm glad they've changed since it.

I went to Kingsville on Friday and got drunk off my ass. Took about 10-12 shots of tequila, haha. AND smoked. So, I was pretty gone. It was fun, though. I had to recharge my batteries, so I fell asleep on the couch. :P I fell asleep sitting down, with my arms crossed, and my head bent down... like a champ! jk. Then I woke up around 3:30am and continued hanging out like I never slept to begin with. I had sooo much fun. :) I'm a champ, I'm telling you! hehe.

Anyway, I didn't intend to write an entry to summarize my stay in Kingsville. I need to vent. So, get ready for the bitching.

My cousin is immature, and it bothers the hell out of me. Okay, she's immature only in certain aspects, like many of use are, but the thing I hate the most is that she refuses to see it. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong. I've been trying to look at things from so many different perspectives, but I still can't see how I did anything wrong or offensive. Offensive enough for her to stop talking to me for weeks. It's so fucking stupid! You don't talk to someone for weeks when they screw you over (actually, even in that situation, I'd try to talk to the person to resolve the matter) or whatever, but I didn't even do that!

Becky and I wanted to hang out with my cousin, Dani, and our friend, Nick, about a month ago, so we went to his dorm at LCC. Dani was already bitching about how she had a really bad day at the Driver's License Office and how some people cut her off or whatever, so I was like, "Well, just don't worry about that anymore, we'll hang out and you'll have a good time and forget about it." One of the things about Dani is that she dwells on the smallest things. So, I'm on my way over there, but I forgot my pipe and greenery, so I had to come back and get it--I wasn't even that far from my house. She calls me about 10minutes after I had told her I was on my way to ask me where I was. I explain that I forgot my shit and everything, so I had to go back and get it. She sighs a little exasperatedly, but I don't take it seriously because I figure I can turn it into a joke or something, so I laugh about it and playfully tell her to shut up. Then, I say, "Come on, you know you're always late to every place I invite you to, puta."  And then that kind of shuts her up, for lack of a better phrase, but then she says that she's had a real bad day and so on... kind of giving me a guilt trip, I guess. So, I'm just like "Ok, ok. I'll try to get there as soon as I can." She really is, like, two hours late everywhere I invite her, though. And I don't bitch about it. But whatever, that only irked me a little bit because I thought she was being a little unfair; if you're always late everywhere you go, don't bitch when someone's running late, too. Just, you know, some common courtesy.

Anyway... she calls again about 10 minutes later... same shit. I finally get to LCC, and Becky had just gotten her Blackberry, but something was wrong with it, so I was trying to fix it. We're not even there for five minutes when she says, "Why aren't you guys talking? Why are you quiet? What's going on?" I was thinking, "Okay, dude. Calm down. We just got here."  So, I told her what happened to Becky's phone and she was still a little weird about us not talking, so I said, "Well, we just got here... we're just kind of settling in and stuff."  So, after a little while, we start smoking a blunt and having fun and stuff. Then she says, "Oh, shit, I forgot that I'm supposed to hang out with one of my friends tonight. And Dana was supposed to hang out with us, too, but she went out of town, so I have to hang out with my friend for sure, now." She didn't seem like she really wanted to go, though. So I told her not to go and stay us; we had just started smoking and everything, and I hadn't seen her in a while, so why leave and go with her friend? Becky and Nick encouraged her to stay, too. So, Dani eventually told her friend that they should just chill some other night, but she felt bad 'cause she already started getting ready and everything.

Later, she becomes even more irritable and starts exaggerating everything. For example, Nick had her digital camera and dropped it into Dani's lap. Dani had a drink in her hand with her other hand over it--covering it--and when Nick dropped the camera, she said, "Ay, Nick! You almost dropped the camera in my drink!" I stayed quiet and didn't say anything 'cause I knew how she takes things the wrong way. She made a big deal of it, and didn't get over it and until Nick repeatedly apologized. She did something else like that, but I don't remember.

We eventually moved into another room, and were just sitting around watching tv. She sat down and started saying how her friend holds grudges against people, and how she's going to be really pissed off because they hadn't seen each other in a long, etc. I tell her, "Well, if she is, don't worry about it. You all were supposed to hang out with Dana, anyway. She shouldn't hold this against you... it's just hanging out. She should understand that things happen. Just don't worry about it. If she gets upset, that's her problem. Hanging out is hanging out; you can always do it some other time." But she kept going on, and going on, at which point I decided to just stay quiet.

We went outside to walk around the campus and then sat down on the bleachers at the baseball field to relax. When Dani told her friend they'd hang out another night, it was around 10. By the time we were at the bleachers, it was close to 11:30. Becky had to be home by 12. Dani didn't know this, but I had told her that I probably had to be home by 1. She knew we came together in one car, so that meant I had to drop Becky off at Wal-Mart, where her car was, and then go home. However, Becky was hungry and wanted a wrap from Sonic. They close at 12, so I told her we'd leave at 11:40 because I wanted to stay a little longer, even though Dani's mood was killing my trip.

At 11:40, I get up and tell Dani that we have to go because Becky needed to go home and she wanted something from Sonic. We say goodbye, then we leave.

A few days later, Dani admits that us leaving "early" bothered her because I had asked her to stay with us instead of going with her friend. I told her that she knows I can't be out late, and that I wasn't the only one who wanted her to stay, anyway... Nick wanted her to stay, too. She said, "I felt like shit for cancelling on my friend. It had been planned for a while and you guys visiting was more of a last minute plan. I canceled cause I thought I was going to be with you all for a while....not an hour." I apologized for having it bother her, but said that I wasn't the only one who wanted her to say, and that if meeting up with her friend was really important, she would've have forgotten. Something I honestly thought was a fact. I also said that she knows I can't stay out late, and that I had to drop Becky off anyway. Then I told her "I don't think all of this is that big of a deal. Maybe I don't understand something, but I honestly don't see how it is. You shouldn't let little things bother you, Dani. I'm sorry that it upset you, but I really don't think it's a big deal." I told her this because she stopped talking to me a couple of months before for something stupid as well, and since then I realized how she dwelled on the smallest things. It annoyed me, so I felt I should at least try to help her realize that some things aren't important enough to worry about so much and to just relax.

After that, she stopped talking to me. She's only texted me twice since then to ask for a favor, but when I text her or leave her a comment, she won't reply. I think it's extremely stupid for her to not talk to me for this. I don't like that she won't at least talk to me about it and try to talk it out. She just shuts me out. What pisses me off even more is that Nick isn't the best of friends, and yet she's really close to him. He doesn't do anything but baby her, while I try to be honest with her, and she shuts me out.

She's 22, doesn't have a job, doesn't go to school, goes out everyday, she's completely dependent on her parents... she has it EASY. She has it so easy, and I'm trying to make her realize that; I want to try to help her get back on track and stop smoking every damn day... fucking make something of herself, while her friends are pretty much holding her back. I want to show her that there are bigger things in life than stupid high school drama, myspace, and partying. That's all her life is. No school, no responsibilities. She was explaining to me that same night how she's so busy and how she's been waking up really early. Early to her is 10 or 11. She usually wakes up around 3-5pm.  She said that she had been so busy she hasn't had any time for herself. Why? One night she HAD to hang out with Nick, another she HAD to hang out with and do some stuff for Dana, that night she HAD to hang out with Nick again, then next night she was going to HAVE TO hang out with some other friends. Had to? She didn't say it as if she was obligated to hang out with her friends, but more like she needed to. But since when do you absolutely have to hang out with someone? Why not just take a week "off" and spend some time alone? She talks about hanging out like we do about having to do things for school; those are her priorities. She gets stressed out because she needs to burn CDs for a road trip AND hang out with people at the same time.

I don't know. Sometimes I just want to tell her to get a job or go back to school. I'm sure she's had fun, but all that shit is old already. She needs to do something with herself. Why not start a business? Write a book? Write poetry? Paint? Write music? The possibilities are endless, and yet she doesn't take advantage of that. All the time in the world, she has, and she uses it for trivial things.

Anyway, I believe I've vented and said all I had to say. Until next time.

Thanks for the comments, guys. :)

I know I've turned into somewhat of a political freak, but I think it's for a good reason. Even though I'm sure my rants get annoying. But anyway, I'm just gonna post up some lyrics for one or two NIN songs... just because I think they're great.

Capital G

I pushed the button and elected him to office and uh
He pushed the button and dropped the bomb
You pushed the button and could watch it on the television
Those motherfuckers didn't last too long uh-uh

I'm sick of hearing about the have's and the have not's
Have some personal accountability
The biggest problem with the way that we been doing things is
The more we let you have the less that I'll be keeping for me

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded in my God for this war
And he signs his name with a capital G

Don't give a shit about the temperature in Guatemala
Don't really see what all the fuss is about
Ain't gonna worry about no future generations and uh
I'm sure somebody gonna figure it out

Don't try to tell me how some power can corrupt a person
You hadn't had enough to know what its like
Your only angry cause you wish you were in my position
Now nod your head because you know that I'm right, alright!

Well I use to stand for something
But forgot what that could be
Theres a lot of me inside you
Maybe your afraid to see

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded in my God for this war
And he signs his name with a capital G